Our First Week

We've begun the process of clearing the decks in the space, removing the old carpeting and the dropped ceilings. We found a secret room in the ceiling where only the walls remain. Hard to describe it in words, but I just like the idea of trying to imagine all the different businesses that have been in the space since it was built in the 1930s. I found an old deflated balloon with "You're Incredible" written on it. I replied back out loud after wiping a bit of sweat from my brow, "Thanks!". Ventilation seems like it might be an issue, so we're going to try to creatively resolve it, but definitely having that extra air space with the 14 feet ceilings is going to help. However, we were doing the work on the muggiest days of the year, so the stuffy observation may be out of context.

So far, the process has been about making sure the contractors I'm working with do what they say they're going to do. A plumber we were excited to use decided not to show up on Saturday. I called him several times, but he just disappeared; probably just fell into the toilet. We've lined up another plumber, and his quote was a quite a bit higher than we budgeted for, but he's Johnny on the spot ready to go, and we've really got to get that part going since the city is changing the grease trap requirements on July 31 so our cost would be substantially higher if we wait. Also the phone installer decided to show up early, so we missed our appointment because we weren't there yet. And the funny thing is we tried all afternoon yesterday to reschedule, but the line was busy. Aren't they the PHONE company???

But we're trying not to let too many of these setbacks get us down and we're trying to keep our eyes on the prize. Installing the gas line is going to be way cheaper than we budgeted for so that was super cool. and another major thing is that I think I may have finally decided on a point of sale system that can integrate with a recipe costing software. All in all things are starting to fall into place.

We've only just begun

We signed the lease yesterday and picked up the keys today for our new retail location at 1014 Madison in the wonderful First Hill neighborhood in Seattle. We must have been extremely excited because I immediately got some posters printed and we put our name in the window right away.

It's such a huge project. Where to start. We're trying to get the plumber in this weekend, then start with the remaining permits and such. We've got drawings to finalize, funding to figure out, recipes to test, paints to choose, and so much more. But I'm so thankful to have an actual physical space that I can actually walk into with my very own key. Which reminds me, I've got to make a few copies of the key!

a little birdie told me so

At some point, all the planning, preparation, and risk estimating has to ultimately give in to the actual thing itself. I am a do-er, so as you can imagine, having almost one year to sit on the idea of opening a retail store and it never happening is pretty much driving me crazy. Sure we've come close several times, then something (either cancer or cold feet) stopped us. So with every day the anxiety of not doing builds and builds eventually giving way to mini-explosions. Let's just call them that, rather than refer to them in the usual way as melt-downs.

This particular mini-explosion was caused by the building stress and anxiety of being about to spend nearly $100,000 to start the retail store, and the fear that it will fail, and that all this planning will be lost in the flurry of the moment we open our doors only to find our sales numbers are not what we hoped and the business slips into bankruptcy. Of course even though I have an extreme amount of faith in myself and the bakery's possibility of success, that anxiety still manages to creep in. Unfortunately, that anxiety was also fed by my dear husband asking me to reduce my startup costs for fear of imminent failure, which made me think his faith in me was lost, which led to me storming out the door and down to the water's edge. I needed some place to drain my tears!

I did the usual mid-mini-explosion crying, trying not to let it get too strong while I was supposed to be driving. I took a brief walk and found a nice little bench and phoned my mom.

My mom and I have a very unique relationship. Early in my life, she seems to have decided I was independent enough to not need the typical mothering, and stopped trying to tell me what to do with my life. It was the smartest thing for her to do because believe me, it's nearly impossible to offer me even the slightest bit of advice. My mom has had a lot of hardship in her life which has led to some instances of psychological crisis, and as a result, most of the time when we talk it's about her problems, etc. But she is still my mom and knows instantly when I'm upset and quickly turns the floor over to me.

Through our long phone call we didn't come to any conclusions, but I felt better, calmer. That and watching the sky change after the sunset helped bring me back to center. As we were hanging up the phone, I looked down on the bench to the right of me and saw the most amazing words scribbled on it.

Sorry for the bad cell phone photo, but you can sort of see somebody's attempt to spell succeed. I mean here was one of those motivational posters sitting right next to me, and I can't believe it took me two hours to notice it. I'm not usually very religious, but I'm pretty sure SOMEBODY was trying to tell me something. Well, that's the way I'm choosing to interpret this message, even though it makes me sound self-obsessed. In writing this post, talking about success just sound silly and trite, but I think I've figured out at least for this moment that success probably can't be described in words; rather, it's a drive, a feeling, and now, because a little birdie wrote it on a bench, it's an obligation.