Cold Feet

Got back earlier this evening meeting with one of John (my hubby's) friends. Questions were raised. On the way home, I just kept thinking to myself, something is holding me back. Is it the people (mainly the city) that are telling me I have to jump through so many hoops just to get to the point that I can eventually open the business and THEN start the fun? Is it trying to learn CAD software in order to get those drawings quickly into the city?

It's probably this weird feeling of being ready, but not feeling sure. OK, honestly, it's the over 40K we have to spend JUST to buy the business and then begin the fun of building out the business. We originally rationalized it to be worth about 20k for us so we were essentially "throwing away" 20k because the rent is about 1k less than comparable spaces in that area. So our rational was that we'd make up the lost cash in rent savings. But it's still a lot of freaking money! And it's still a lot of risk. I have no doubt our products are bomb, but I've never run a pastry shop. I haven't successfully managed employees. (But I WILL!)

When I get a parking ticket, I am pissed and I pay it immediately. I want to put it behind me as soon as possible. I sort of have that same feeling about the 40k investment in this space. But instead of being able to let it go away, I've got to learn CAD, deal with an idiot seller who is just rambling, and delay the making of pastries.

It's this weird feeling of wanting something for a long time, seeing a few things pass you by that didn't fit, then finding the ONE GOOD THING that comes along after a while. But there's this weird feeling like we're being ripped off a bit, like we're just throwing money away. There might be an additional 40k in startup costs we might have to pay. Sure there's great light in the space, nothing could make me happier after working in the BITTER cold in a shared kitchen space, barely able to work with buttercream since it kept getting too cold. Is a good feeling worth wasting a bunch of money, or is something better around the bend?

And then, there's turning 40. I don't know why this is such a big deal, but I just feel I want this pastry shop thing to be going before I'm 40. Well, my birthday is May 3 and it's just around the corner. Realistically, it ain't going to happen, but as my grandmother always said, "life begins at 40, and if you miss it, you can always start at 41."